What am I even for?
28th September, 2025
It's no secret that things are shit politically right now, and they're certainly not improving. In the USA, you see the Trump administration pushing ever further into an authoritarian autocracy – marshalling state resources to persecute political opponents, threatening media outlets that won't follow the party line, and sending armed goons into cities across the nation. Just today, he's signed a national security directive that targets people for expressing anti-American, anti-Christianity or anti-capitalist sentiments, just days after giving the UK shit over freedom of speech. I have plenty of friends out there, and frankly I'm scared for them.
I'd love to say that they should flee to the UK, but my faith in this country is decreasing by the day. It's clear that there are plenty of right-wing elements in politics, the media and beyond that view Trump's America not with horror, but as a blueprint. In one particular piece I read in the Telegraph recently, a former Tory minister rattled off a list of reforms he'd like to see in the UK. He pre-empts criticism of his proposals, saying that “If such reform is attempted, the Left will scream that a fascist dictatorship is being introduced, but the opposite would in fact be true,” although the only justification he offers for this claim is the relatively young nature of certain institutions. So what does he want? Among other things, openly political appointments in the civil service to the repeal of the Human Rights Act, watered down judicial review and even ending the operational independence of the police. Basically, a massive concentration of executive power.
Of course, the Tories aren't in power. Reform UK, their would-be usurpers from the right, aren't either despite their worrying poll leads. But it almost feels as if they may as well be, since it seems as though every week, Starmer is announcing another policy designed to appeal to Reform's supporters in a desperate bid to turn those polls around. Starmer's latest plot is the whole digital ID card scheme announced this week – in the increasingly deranged Telegraph, of course. Supposedly, it will stop people who don't have the right to work in the UK from working. As a former Home Office official says, companies like that are likely to simply not perform the legally required checks in the first place, but that's beside the point. It's a cheap stunt designed to give the appearance that the government is dealing with an issue, but the truth is that the dissatisfaction people feel isn't really anything to do with immigration, rather a sense of powerlessness and stagnating living standards.
Starmer appears to subscribe to to the belief that kickstarting economic growth is the key to tackling this and keeping his government in power. This would go some way towards explaining why he recently welcomed Donald Trump to the UK, rolling out the red carpet for an unprecedented second state visit. And hey, why spend time on reversing the damage that the Brexit years did to our trading and diplomatic relationships with the EU, when we can cosy up to someone that experts would describe as a fascist? Well, so you can secure investments from US big tech firms, having faith in the revolutionary power of AI to turn the economy around. Best to just ignore the evidence that most companies aren't seeing any return on their AI investments, that the capital doesn't exist to build the absurd infrastructure the AI companies want, and the growing sentiment that the whole thing is a bubble that is set to burst in a catastrophic fashion.
But that will all take years to shake out, and until it does you've still got people putting flags on lampposts with zip ties and painting roundabouts, and so Reform must be appeased. It's a self-defeating strategy – the average Reform voter would sooner wank with sandpaper than vote Labour, and besides, Reform has its roots in the Brexit mindset, a perpetual sense of victimhood that means that they will never be satisfied regardless of how many concessions they gain. Or, to put it as one American commentator recently did, they are a temper tantrum disguised as an ideology. Meanwhile, every bit of red meat thrown to the Reform lot ensures that the Lib Dems, Greens and potentially even the Your Party clown car shambles all peel more votes away from Labour than Reform will. What's worse – Reform actually gaining power, or simply exerting enough influence that Labour becomes Reform in the same way that the Tories morphed into UKIP?
So I think to myself, what can I do? Is there any way that I can make our seemingly inevitable imitation of America even slightly less likely? With all of the big money being thrown around and major media narratives being constructed, there's no way that an individual like me can make much of a difference to the big picture. It's not my job, and for me to try to convince strangers of the dangers ahead would be a futile effort – you could argue online for a decade and never change a single mind. If I'm going to make a difference, it has to be close to home. The people who know me well know that I got my education in politics, they know that I've actually been involved in front line party politics, and they know that I don't stand to gain anything by pushing a particular agenda. In theory, they should potentially be receptive to my concerns and my arguments.
It's a sign of the times, of the attitudes becoming increasingly normalised in our country, that I hear nasty xenophobic comments dropped into conversation in an alarmingly casual fashion by someone that I frankly expected better from. I naturally challenge this, but not even the slightest hint of a course correction comes in response, and what's upsetting is that this all comes from people I hoped had even the smallest shred of respect for me. So I go home, walking past a bunch more fucking flags. Great. If I can't even get to the people who should be most likely to listen to me to engage in a little self-reflection about these attitudes, what use am I? Maybe I'm of no use at all.
Talking Tunes
19th August, 2025
Hello there. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, you know how it goes – I took a holiday, and you naturally get busier before a week off and then come back to a bunch of stuff. Now I'm taking another week off. Whoops. It was a good holiday though, and I might even tell you about it soon, but for now I want to talk about music and the story starts with the show that meant I didn't head down to Devon with the rest of my family.
You may remember Himari Tsukishiro from my last blog post, and there's no question that she is the artist I've seen live the most. I don't think it's even close as it's been five times in the last three years alone, and while two of those shows did take place on consecutive days in 2024, it's still mighty impressive for a performer based in Japan. The show on 20th July at The Black Heart wasn't a standard Isiliel show, though – Himari typically sings over an instrumental recording, but this time a whole band came over from Norway to perform live with her so it was Isiliel and the Lilin. I believe it's the first time that Himari has performed with a live band over here since the Necronomidol show at The Underworld in 2018, and it's definitely the first time we've had an Isiliel live band set in the UK, so it made for a rather special night.
I'd not been to The Black Heart before and it's a neat little venue. It's a rock pub with an upstairs venue space, and it's easily missed if you're not looking for it despite being right by Camden Town tube station. It's not a huge space, and I doubt many more people could have fit in it, if any – it was certainly cramped enough that I kept inadvertently getting in the way of Ricky, the producer. That made for some hot and sweaty conditions given the time of year, but given that Himari's visits to the UK tend to be in the summer to coincide with Hyper Japan, I've just learned to put up with that. That's not to say it's not a problem, mind – even Himari, who must be used to the brutal Japanese summer, was saying how the stage was hell.
Anyway! This set focused squarely on the songs from Isiliel's two albums, Moonbow Genesis and Moonbow Rebellion, which makes sense – as much we enjoy songs like Seizon Senryaku, Pinky Promise and I Want To Believe, you definitely want to get the most out of having the band there, and I think that goal was definitely achieved as the live instruments definitely elevated the whole act. Saying that, I'd be remiss in not recognising how Himari continues to grow as a performer – I know she used to have little confidence in her voice, and I hope that's not the case these days. What I didn't appreciate so much, until I looked back at some photos of her early solo shows, is how she has become so much more expressive and ultimately, more like a metal vocalist than an idol singer. Incidentally, I will always find it funny when she drops an F-bomb.
After the show, another fan came up to me and asked if I was “the Retro Gamer guy” and it was nice to be recognised – he told me he was an Amstrad owner growing up, and we had a brief chat about what's in future issues. If you're reading, sorry I didn't catch your name! I also had a chat with a couple of American fans in the cheki queue, who had become fans after seeing Necronomidol at the HP Lovecraft Film Festival. I was quite surprised that they'd made their way over. My brief cheki chat was as enjoyable as always – I was able to complain about the humidity in Japanese, and Himari was very kind about how my language skills have improved, which was nice because one of the reasons I decided to spend actual time learning the language was to be able to converse with her more easily. Oh, and I picked up Moonbow Rebellion on CD. There are some photos of the show here, if you fancy seeing them.
Last Monday, I went to see Ministry for only the second time. Now, I wasn't even three years old when The Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Taste came out, so there were plenty of people there who were visibly older than I am, and yet somehow I still managed to feel old myself. You see, at one point I was next to a dad who had brought his son with him, and that son can't have been older than 14 – and as a result, the horrifying realisation dawned upon me he wouldn't have even been born the last time I saw Ministry, back in 2008 on the C U LaTour “retirement” run. In a perverse kind of way, Al Jourgensen's belief that he'd be less angry after George W Bush left office is hilarious with the benefit with hindsight, but how in the actual fuck is all of that 17 years ago already?
Sure enough, the show started up with a disclaimer that none of the band endorse Trump, whose face was displayed via projector with a prohibition symbol and “IMBECILE” overlaid, and then the band launched straight into Thieves. Uncle Al and company were on fine form, and for the guy in the queue who was worried about a repeat of “that weird emo stuff” from the recent Squirrely Years tour, it was a great sign of things to come. They went into a couple of songs from The Land Of Rape And Honey, before taking a detour into more recent tunes – both of the anti-Bush era songs were from Rio Grande Blood, which was my favourite of that trilogy and the era during which I got into the band, so it worked for me. Then it was back to the early years for Stigmata, before the Psalm 69 trio of N.W.O., Just One Fix and Jesus Built My Hotrod took the main show home. The encore was all Squirrely Years stuff, which was bizarre to hear after so many years of those songs essentially being disowned. A good night all in all, even if I was suffering a bit towards the end as my hernia started getting painful. I also have a few photos of this show.
Outside of live music, I've been enjoying an old album that's new to me as well as a few new tracks. The nu metal era is one that was and still is much-maligned, but I grew up with it and appreciate it, so I follow crazy ass moments in nu metal history on BlueSky. A post a few months ago alerted me to Insolence, a band I'd never actually come across before for reasons that are unclear to me. I don't remember hearing much about them in the UK back in the day, but they're on Kerrang! 2: The Album. That post led me to buy the album Revolution – a Japanese copy with the bonus track, because I'm a nerd, and it's funny how the spine card compares them to Linkin Park because they're not much alike. The opening track Death Threat sets the tone, a straight up nu metal attack with all of the rap, a little bit of reggae influence, and a mighty chorus that must have been a blast to sing along with back in the day. The lead single Poison Well seems to be real popular, and I'm also into Sick and Head 2 Head.
About a month ago Phantom Siita released Sokkuri-san, a song about some kind of evil doppelganger, and it's my favourite song of theirs in a little while – the chorus is super catchy and energetic, and I also love the art style in the music video. I'm rather sad I missed them earlier in the year, but the ticket prices were a bit steep and my finances can only stretch so far. Annoyingly I also missed Nine Inch Nails at the O2 in June, because I'd only just been there to see Babymetal and once again, money. The new song As Alive As You Need Me To Be is at least a consolation prize, a good solid track that does pretty much what you expect from NIN. Then, a few weeks ago Pendulum dropped Cannibal, a collab with Wargasm that caught me off guard because I didn't realise they'd come off hiatus. Absence clearly makes the heart grow fonder – while I never got on board with the hate brigade they attracted, I did think Immersion was a bit of an underwhelming album. Well, Cannibal serves as a nice throwback that sounds like classic Pendulum while having something fresh to it thanks to the collab. It's also turned me on to Wargasm, whose music I'm looking forward to familiarising myself with more in the coming weeks. But that's all for this blog post, so do take care of yourselves.
